What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word complaining? If it’s you complaining then obviously something is bothering you. If it’s someone complaining to you, then probably you want to make a run for the nearest exit!
I recently had an aha moment from listening to a discussion between Jim Kwik and Guy Winch. They talked about how to complain effectively! A very interesting topic in which they highlighted that a complaint should be more like a transactional process instead of a moaning/venting experience.
I love the point they make and the distinction between Complaining Vs The victim mentality! To complain means that we want something to change. The desired result, a behavior that annoys us, our surroundings, our jobs. So it is imperative that we think of what we want to change before we start complaining! Otherwise, we are just moaning with absolutely no purpose.
When it comes to complaining, Guy Winch suggests using The Sandwich Approach. The “complaint” transaction should go something like this:
They use the following example to explain how to use the method.
If for example you want to complain to your partner that he/she is always late when you go out, it should go like this:
Bread: I really enjoy our date night, I look forward to it all week. (Positive Statement)
Meat or hummus for our vegan readers: Last week you were late for the movie though, and it stressed me out. (Complaint)
Bread: I would really appreciate it if you could be on time for our date night next time because it would allow me to enjoy you so much more. (Desired Result accompanied by another positive statement)
Hope you try it out, stop moaning and start complaining efficiently!
Fotis
https://www.fotischrysochos.com/life-financial-coaching-blog/
