Are you fighting an unwinnable battle? Can you focus on making clear what parts of your day are within our control and what parts are not? When you are able to spot the difference, you will not only be happier but will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an impossible battle.
Let’s see which fights you can win and which you can’t:
- The weather. The fact is,it is never bad. Weather just is. It is our perception of the weather that interprets how we see it.
For example, what’s the point in yelling at the air hostess for a delayed flight due to bad weather? Will it end the storm? Or, do you think it is worth complaining that it is raining outside even if you have outdoor plans? Can’t those plans be adjusted? Sure they can. But do you have what it takes? You need a calm, clear mind so not to freak out and actually enjoy it.
- No amount of wishing will make you slimmer/richer/happier etc. Wishful thinking is very dangerous for your long term well being.
Most likely if you want any of the above the way to get there is 100% in your control. You should really stop saying I CAN’T and replace it with HOW CAN I? E.g. I can’t lose weight V How can I lose weight?
- No amount of moaning about your boss will increase your income. Can you control how much money your boss pays you?
This is often a gray area since it has a little of both answers. If you are putting in the required work, effort, and dedication you should be rewarded. If you are NOT, then it is up to YOU to stay or leave.
Other things you can control:
- Your attitude
- How you interpret situations
- Your level of honesty
- What you learn from any situation
- Who and when you ask for help
- How much exercise you do
- How much TV you watch or how many books you read
We have more than enough things that are 100% in our control and can work for us. Like good habits, learning and adapting to various situations, values etc.
Isn’t it more exciting to focus on such things instead of the million uncontrollable things in our life? Try to have enough clarity to see the difference (emotion unbiased and anger less) and the flexibility to accept some things as they are
There are so many things to talk about that fall under this topic but religious or not, I want to leave you with the “Serenity prayer”:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Try and think where you can implement this in your life and maybe next time you will avoid complaining about the “uncontrollable” weather and actually enjoy it! 🙂
Fotis
